Thinking of Abby

My mother-in-law is in this weekend from Colorado Springs. We have been having a great time and enjoying time out at our pool beside our condo. We threw a ball around to each other in the pool and Kaylynn has been practicing her swimming. Afterwards, we were all setting on the lounge chairs drying off, and I started thinking about what it would be like if Abby was toddling around the pool. She would be 2 yrs. 1 month old. I am missing that 2nd voice that I should be hearing today.

This last week has been a week where I have had to fight my emotions. I heard a great sermon from our wonderful teaching elder, Allen Duty. It was at the women's Life Givers event and was about Why we should practice having a Sabbath. It was a wonderful sermon and something I want to learn to put into practice. I was really excited to learn more about what God's word says about Sabbath. But near the end of the evening, the women who were seated at the discussion table I was at began talking about pregnancy and going in to labor. I should have just left when they first started talking, but was trying to be polite. When I could endure it no longer, I left and made my way to my car. The tears started streaming down. I was somewhat shocked at how much it hurt me to hear them talking about pregnancy and labor. I remember thinking while they were talking, don' t they know how much it hurts for me to hear these things. Also, will I ever not hurt so much, to hear others talk about being pregnant or fixing to have a baby. Looking back, I think one of the reasons that it is still so painful for me to hear about other women being pregnant or fixing to have their baby is that these are the few memories that I have of Abby, because her life was so short. When I got in my car I thought about just leaving and going home, but I was afraid that my emotions were going to cause me to be depressed, but also that I was going to lose focus on what I had heard in the sermon and I didn't want to lose what I had heard. So, I gathered up courage and waited for two of my friends to arrive outside. Once they did, I asked them to pray for me and told them what was going on. The graciously prayed for me. The scripture that came to mind when they were nearly finished was, I have loved you with an everlasting love! Jeremiah 31:3. This scripture has helped to sustain me, as well as Psalms 28.